Wha’s like us? Wha’s
like them?
Anybody with any interest in the
constitutional future of Scotland must surely be hoping that both sides - and
the wind-sniffers placing each way bets from the safety of a rather untenable
middle ground – will up the standard of debate. This would be greatly
facilitated if feral elements of media, too, demonstrated a little more
maturity and tried to promote discourse rather than cheap confrontation.
To this nationalist’s mind, the sooner this
happens the better – lest you ask, hope presently has the upper hand on
expectation. If the present cacophony of ya-boo-sucks, “But Sir, he started
it.” – “No ah didnae, it wis her”, continues much longer, it is likely to
induce glaze-eyed apathy at best, possibly aneurysms, in a citizenry already at
the end of a critically stretched tether.
Sadly, even if I were capable, it would take
too long to dissect and analyse every fur-ball the referendum debate has coughed
up to date but, by way of a start, there is one spurious and, to my mind,
downright misleading irrelevance that needs examined and dispatched.
This isn’t peculiar to this debate by any
measure – it probably originated five minutes after early man first drew a line
and said, “This bit’s ours, that bit’s yours.” The offence in question is
codified in the ten commandments and involves, perhaps appropriately, asses.
Unlike smoking, though coveting itself is also now politically incorrect, it is
only permitted indoors, so to fully satisfy this urge we have resorted to
endlessly appraising our neighbours’ donkeys, comparing theirs to ours.
In Scotland, we seem to lurch between an
unedifying self-loathing, believing our beloved Eeyore deserves no more than this
Gloomy Place, and chest-puffing triumphalism, where pedigree race-horse, New
Caledonia, romps home and Scotland struts heroically and inspirationally across
an equally imaginary World Stage. So far, it’s either post-Culloden defeatism
or Bannockburn 2: The Remake and little in between.
I find it utterly perplexing that while we
are supposed to be debating and planning the future of our country, a primary
weapon in the armoury of all sides has been continual reference to other lands
with their own unique histories. If we are to believe all we hear about
countries as different and diverse as Greece, Ireland, Denmark, Iceland or New
Zealand, New Scotland will be a Frankenstein state, randomly cobbled together
with bits of here, there and everywhere, with a borrowed and wholly artificial
personality. What’s the point of independence if we can’t muster the confidence
to be like, well, Scots in Scotland? What else is self-determination about?
But there is an element of this that worries
me more than this rather shallow political dyslexia. This: the unquestioned
regard we seem to hold for countries who have no more right to our unstinting
deference and respect than any foe, real or imagined, across the Tweed.
First and not least, the good ole U.S.A,
where liberty, individuality and endless opportunity for all shines a beacon of
hope across a troubled planet. A land where the idea of universal healthcare
for all citizens is anathema to most, even the ones who desperately need it.
Our First Minister’s cosiness with sleazy right-wing billionaires troubles me.
Quite a lot, actually. A citizenry outnumbered by its licensed fire arms and
yet is perpetually baffled when somehow or other these end up in the legal
possession of psychopaths, last week executed a man with an I.Q. of 67 - who
you won’t be surprised to learn was dirt-poor and of African ancestry.
Americans call lethal injection “humane” yet, even though poor wretches can
take up to 15 minutes writhing in agony before expiring, many want the electric
chair back because it is a more cathartic spectacle. They really do wanna see
‘em fry. In Virginia, they still oblige and use this modern equivalent of
burning at the post if the condemned so wishes. Last time was 2010. I leave the
room here. Civilised societies don’t do this. When they sort that lot out, then
we’ll see what they have to offer. I think we know enough about their foreign
policy.
For our future health and happiness, we are
to look to Sweden, where nothing goes wrong but where the state encroaches into
every area of your highly regimented life from day one whether you like it or
not. The land of Abba, Bjorn Borg and indulgently depressed TV detectives may
have a far superior coast-line to Switzerland, but its concern and interest in
the rest of the world is no less minimalist and coldly pragmatic. Sweden, too,
is a post-colonial power. The benefit of joining a Nordic Alliance is dubious
anyway - strange, too, having just fought for independence - but in any case,
it might be best to run this passed their Scandinavian cousins. Britain isn’t
the only country with institutionalised memories of WW2. As for being the Saudi
Arabia of renewable energy, see, the U.S.A, except they use a sword and do it
every Friday after prayers, once the all-male audience has got itself in party
mood.
The list of countries whose examples are, if
anything, ones we should distance ourselves from is long and varied. If you
want socialism, try Sweden. Freedom and equality? (That’s what they say anyway)
the U.S. Low taxes? Somalia. Australia? Ask the Aborigines. And as for
ourselves, perhaps a wee bit of introspection would do us no harm. Telephone,
T.V. and penicillin are all well and good, but the circumstances that gave us
the Enlightenment and its fruits were funded by, amongst other delights,
slavery, tobacco and no unwillingness to join our English cousins in a litany
of plunder and murder through 5 centuries unchallenged imperialism and the
all-purpose hubris that still pretty well defines the British State.
I don’t want to live in a replica of another
land, past or present. Let’s just take the Scotland we have and take it from
there.
